How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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