I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
NoShamevember. You game?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
