LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
