It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
