this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
