You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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