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is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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