So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
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I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?