If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yo dont text me then not text me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
