Jerry, you need to find god
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
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It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS