Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank. http://tfl.nu/47xc
  Replies (8) Good night (1851) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar. (678): I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home http://tfl.nu/hat9
  Replies (14) Good night (1555) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance. http://tfl.nu/ue6b
  Replies (56) Good night (1477) Bad night (2496)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  and she was petting her beer can

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): and she was petting her beer can http://tfl.nu/fa24
  Replies (8) Good night (4358) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder. http://tfl.nu/za6c
  Replies (21) Good night (4944) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/xhhe
  Replies (25) Good night (1053) Bad night (6307)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/xo78
  Replies (40) Good night (12672) Bad night (1464)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit http://tfl.nu/tode
  Replies (12) Good night (4287) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/2caa
  Replies (14) Good night (4020) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often http://tfl.nu/ivea
  Replies (7) Good night (2264) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome. http://tfl.nu/loiz
  Replies (5) Good night (2636) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection. http://tfl.nu/qz8n
  Replies (16) Good night (1820) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties http://tfl.nu/ivn3
  Replies (2) Good night (1480) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off. http://tfl.nu/4xox
  Replies (7) Good night (994) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now. http://tfl.nu/rhwt
  Replies (12) Good night (327) Bad night (718)

Randomize