it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
