Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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