Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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