oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
