Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
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i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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