We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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