lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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