i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I did not marry a roomba.
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