Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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