STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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