Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
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I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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