Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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