Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
