Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
