I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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