This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
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His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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