I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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