Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
