her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
