Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize