So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
