it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
