Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
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