turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
