Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
