just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
