I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
