Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
