im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
