Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
