Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
