Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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