I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize