I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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