I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
