I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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