I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
