I'm drive I can fine osifer
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
