u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
