i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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