i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
