Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
