I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
