I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
