My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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