Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
