nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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