you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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