so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
