im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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