I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
