You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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