Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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