Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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