life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize