You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
