Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How does it feel to date your dad?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
