she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
